How many times do families, like mine, gather and talk about material things rather than about emotion? My siblings are 65, 75, and 75 - not a typo. Talk is centered around accessories in the house, golf games, travel, grandchildren, food, the world situation. Doctors, but not chronic illness. Cars but not individual financial challenges. Healthcare but not about Medicare supplements, long-term care insurance - reasons people are working well into their 70s if given an opportunity. My father, a pharmacist, worked until he was 83, because he wanted to serve the public.
Note in David Brooks' article the range of deep talents which span reason and emotion and make hash of narrower definitions of IQs, degrees, and professional skills. Brooks cites "Limerence: This isn't a talent as a much as a motivation." And so some siblings must delay a mortgage payment in order to purchase airfare to respond to crisis, a last opportunity to see a loved one.
What common threads of understanding or lack of understanding have you witnessed as primary caregiver or a long-distance caregiver trying to keep your head above water while your feelings are being questioned?
