Age Is Just A Number

Most Fridays I "dine around" with a small group of friends in Boone and Blowing Rock, NC.  At 70 and 80+ discussions center around volunteerism, health, travel, community, and family.  One couple could not join us yesterday as they were taking a short trip to Jacksonville FL (10 hours) to visit a close family who decorate their home and open it to neighbors for Halloween.   Did I mention they just returned from being with friends in Yellowstone and Blue Sky country?  When he is not traveling, he volunteers five days a week as office manager for an historical association to which he and his wife have a 40-year dedication. A form of dementia has entered their lives so they have added neurology and speech therapy to their schedule but continue to schedule short and lengthy visits with treasured friends they have amassed through the years.

Last week I visited my mother, 98, who is in hospice in South Florida going on six months.  We had the best reminiscence even though I could appear as four different family members in a 2-hour visit.  My mom expressed her love for fresh air and appreciation for certain staff members.  She told one CNA, "Sit down, Honey.  I don't want you to work so hard."  She loved the feel of a new sweater.

I stayed with my sister-in-law who is so devoted to my mom, understanding dementia that her father had the last five years of his life.  She knows how to make my mom laugh and how to limit visits to protect the weary.  Playing Mexican Train with her friends around the pool for two hours was a great stress reliever for one woman checking in on her husband at the hospital (a 20-year experience) and another waiting out the repair of a rental unit that a man, 90, ran into with his vehicle before his family realized he should be in assisted living,  And us

"Buddy did well", another sister-in-law reported about their bus trip to New England (he has dementia going on four years)..  "Everything was first class.  The tour operator added two days and we (eight friends went along) had a great time."  This weekend they are off to see his brother's family and her father, 95.  They make this 3-hour drive every other week to ensure her dad's safety, liven up the house, and fill the refrigerator with homemade meals.   She shares this love and dedication with another sister and her husband.  This visit they will support his brother who is in a nursing home. 

My mind wanders to those, like me, that live hundreds of miles from family. My extended family includes two kindergarten boys I mentor each Monday.  What a great way to start my week and keep me humble.

Marvin Orenstein, 90,  is my hero of the day.   http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/section/6/article/58394/

Please share your heroes with me. I am confident they are all caregivers of one form or another.