Postponing Retirement

Has your idea of retirement been sullied by the economy?  Did life circumstances deter you from saving as early as you could have? Did the last 20 years go by with the speed of lightening? 

This article provides examples and insights to shift thinking about job possibilities and reviewing financial resources when circumstances are beyond your control.

 http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/07/your-money/laid-off-with-retirement-almost-in-sight.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1 

When interviewing prospective residents and their families in senior living communities comments would arise, "Mom doesn't have anything (resources) even though she worked for 30 years."  Sometimes the children would preview the community and share this without the parent(s); sometimes, candidness just spewed forth.  That the dialogue had been had between/among family members, was a credit to all.

Family gatherings are often a time when concern for elders leads into effective conversations that had been camouflaged in short responses to perfunctory inquiries from time-deprived boomers, "I'm fine."  "How are the children?" - deflects further inquiry.  An elder may express conditions are good while he/she may be sitting without heat for several days concerned about spreading meager retirement funds, too proud for fuel assistance programs popular in rural regions.

This article about congregate living is a good one to ponder.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-poor-seniors-20120104,0,7744732.story?page=1

And we know that boomers concerned with their health, strapped funds, and trying to hang on to their homes may feel helpless when it comes to helping their aging parents.  Distance comes into play, blended families.  "She does not want to take care of me anymore", a daughter whose father, 77, with early dementia exclaimed.  Struggling through transition, the veil of helplessness blackens.


When did your dialogue with your parents begin?  Have your burdens become too great and you don't know where to turn or has pride kept you from assistance as close as a listening ear?  Your comments will help others through the maze.

Today's Hearing Aids Provide Fashion and Function for Wearers

In the world of fashion and style, accessories are supposed to add to any outfit. If they don't, of course, they are taking away from the style that you have.

For people who need hearing aids, style hasn't always been an option. Fortunately, companies are working hard to create new models and smaller devices that are either invisible or nearly so, allowing users to be able to enjoy hearing without the obvious unattractiveness of hearing aids of years past. There are plenty of styles available to choose from, and while they might not compliment your wardrobe, they certainly won't take away from it.  

When it comes to finding the best hearing aid, there is a lot that you have to think about. The type and severity of your hearing loss are going to affect your options significantly. Of course, how much you have to spend on these devices will also play a part in your decision. If you are looking for a more discreet, stylish option to provide you with the hearing assistance that you need, you should be willing to spend a little more than the average user, of course. Hearing aids used to be a fact of life, and not a very stylish one at that. Bulky, unattractive devices could be seen protruding from the ear and making any attempt at style almost moot simply because of the obviousness of the device.


 While many people aren't concerned with the fashion of their hearing aids as much as the way that it works, having the ability to get both can allow you to enjoy a much more normal lifestyle without the worry of everyone knowing that you have a hearing aid. For various reasons, a lot of people find hearing devices embarrassing. It isn't about the fashion so much as the fact that people can see that you have an obvious issue. Typically, when people are aware of this, they behave differently. If nothing else, you at least want your privacy in your health issues. Today's technology has created a world of hearing aid designs that can give you that privacy and let you be as stylish as you want, from head to toe. While hearing aids might not exactly be the chic accessories that you need to dress up your new outfit, they don't have to be the awkward accessories that take away from the style, either.

Mary is a blogger for HappyHealth.net, a health lifestyle community for active adults. HappyHealth also provides hearing aid reviews and other product reviews.

Rightly Compassionate

 Though staying away from media is known to improve one's health, this example of compassion begs to be shared for those interested in the welface of all.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/G/GA_EVICTION_OF_103_YEAR_OLD_GAOL-?SITE=GAGAI&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Elders looking after elders, time again trying to do the next best thing, struggling with extended life, an economy gone beserk - or is it the lack of leadership from both sides of the aisle.   Shouting matches, rolled eyes prevent arms to reach out or ears to listen as they are meant to do.

 This photo reminds me of my father's pharmacy he purchased in 1939, the year of my birth.  How fortunate I was to be told all my life that  I was his good luck charm.  Three minute conversations between my dad and his customers when they came to pick up their prescriptions did more for each other's soul than any chemical concoction.  Dr. Swartz, they used to call him.   What would my dad have done, in his 60 years of serving the public if he learned of these women's plight, if they came into the store or shared their plight when he made a delivery?  What would you do?  What can we do at the grass roots level.

Yesterday I went for my dental hygiene appointment.   Near the end the hygenist remarked, "This isn't easy for you, is it?"   My response was, "Actually I was thinking of a pair of black tennis shoes."  She said, "You're kidding! Why?"  "To go with my black warm-up suit."  "Treat yourself.   I bought all my Christmas presents and told my husband to wrap them", she said with a laugh.   How insensitve that sounded to me who preferred to spend $400 on my grandchildren's presents instead of meeting obligations of tree removal.  Every life has a story.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v0RhvZ3lvY

What better gift than one of listening, holding a hand, asking "How can I help you.  Can I bring something from the store," or share a home-cooked meal from your heart.  Not only at Christmas, Chanukah, or Kawanza, but throughout the year.   Writing in gratitude, humbled, and seeking your perspective.



Windows to the World

My dynamic friend, an administrator in her 50s, remarked how she enjoys cleaning windows to catch the sparkle when the sun hits the panes just right.  When once she laid the foundation and built her home in Wyoming with her husband, now she rents a rustic cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains.  Her energy, renewed by faith, family, friends and colleagues, reminds me of transitions in my life when Windexing and seeing more clearly lifted my spirits.


Thanksgiving approaches. Gift exchanges are near for Christmas, Chanukah, and Kawanza.  With a passion for the elder population, I cannot help but think about small gestures that could make a big difference in an elder's life.  How many elders would enjoy having their windows cleaned - inside only, if that is what weather permits?  Or a senior or assisted living community or nursing home receiving a fresh box of holiday cards that might support a local non-profit that they can use as deemed appropriate.  What life is not enhanced by art?

 As I was blogging I was Skyped by my daughter, 38, who told me she could talk for a short while before going for a walk with her dad, 77. "He's sad.  He failed his driving test at the hospital, the one they give for memory loss.  Though I gave her examples of full lives being led by other dementia patients and caregivers, I caught myself and expressed, "It is different when it is your parent."  As some of you have followed, my mother remains in hospice in S FL where gratefully the revolving door of visits from grandchildren have lifted her spirits and theirs.

It filled my soul today to read that 2400 families are recipients of turkey dinners through an EarthFare program.  I hope that further recognition of our neighbors' plight, transitions in families caused by our economy will breed more community partnerships.  Let's adopt a 365 day caring program. Be the transportation for someone, gift a mattress, fresh linens, bring a homemade dinner or two and place them in a freezer, be creative in the soup category and make extra quarts for others.  

 Consider giving a manicure where you will give the warmth of holding a hand and reminisce - how about recording some of the reminiscence for family members or for an organization whose history would not be the same without that person's contribution.

My Thanksgiving?  My significant other of five years and I are driving to Jonesville NC, one hour from Boone and from Greensboro NC to share a Thanksgiving meal at Cracker Barrel.  Afterward, the men will tend to family gravesites, weather permitting.   I was fortunate to be with two of my children and three grandchildren near Atlanta last Saturday.  When I asked my s/o what he liked best about the trip he said, "You always ask me that.  What I liked best is your expressing your appreciation of driving down (5 hours)."    Who have you thanked today? 

What gift have you gently proffered saving one's dignity and celebrating his/her life?

Age Is Just A Number

Most Fridays I "dine around" with a small group of friends in Boone and Blowing Rock, NC.  At 70 and 80+ discussions center around volunteerism, health, travel, community, and family.  One couple could not join us yesterday as they were taking a short trip to Jacksonville FL (10 hours) to visit a close family who decorate their home and open it to neighbors for Halloween.   Did I mention they just returned from being with friends in Yellowstone and Blue Sky country?  When he is not traveling, he volunteers five days a week as office manager for an historical association to which he and his wife have a 40-year dedication. A form of dementia has entered their lives so they have added neurology and speech therapy to their schedule but continue to schedule short and lengthy visits with treasured friends they have amassed through the years.

Last week I visited my mother, 98, who is in hospice in South Florida going on six months.  We had the best reminiscence even though I could appear as four different family members in a 2-hour visit.  My mom expressed her love for fresh air and appreciation for certain staff members.  She told one CNA, "Sit down, Honey.  I don't want you to work so hard."  She loved the feel of a new sweater.

I stayed with my sister-in-law who is so devoted to my mom, understanding dementia that her father had the last five years of his life.  She knows how to make my mom laugh and how to limit visits to protect the weary.  Playing Mexican Train with her friends around the pool for two hours was a great stress reliever for one woman checking in on her husband at the hospital (a 20-year experience) and another waiting out the repair of a rental unit that a man, 90, ran into with his vehicle before his family realized he should be in assisted living,  And us

"Buddy did well", another sister-in-law reported about their bus trip to New England (he has dementia going on four years)..  "Everything was first class.  The tour operator added two days and we (eight friends went along) had a great time."  This weekend they are off to see his brother's family and her father, 95.  They make this 3-hour drive every other week to ensure her dad's safety, liven up the house, and fill the refrigerator with homemade meals.   She shares this love and dedication with another sister and her husband.  This visit they will support his brother who is in a nursing home. 

My mind wanders to those, like me, that live hundreds of miles from family. My extended family includes two kindergarten boys I mentor each Monday.  What a great way to start my week and keep me humble.

Marvin Orenstein, 90,  is my hero of the day.   http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/section/6/article/58394/

Please share your heroes with me. I am confident they are all caregivers of one form or another.

The therapist is still working at 102

Thank you Steve Lopez for this dynamic portrait. 
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-1002-lopez-bolgar-20111002,0,5869414.column

Though I stay away from violent and non-sensical headlines, I seek columnists who illuminate people otherwise unbeknowngst to me.   When I took a death and dying class mid-life, or what I thought was mid-life, I had to write my own obituary.  What fun!  I placed myself at the top of a mountain in Colorado; today I live at 3500 ft in Boone NC.  My brother lives in Denver - perhaps begging a visit.  I saw myself as a writer and think the same today as I whittle words on forthcoming book entitled "A Tapestry of Global Friendships."

What are your ambitions?   At 71, I had my licensed renewed for five years today.  Gratefully I was prompted for four signs that had no design on them.  I thought the sun was yellow and round - yet it signified a railroad sign.

Keep a joyful heart. 

Everyone needs an advocate

Three years ago I had a TIA (mini-stroke) and pay attention to warning signs.  This week, two days after a "perfect" checkup with a new physician, I stopped at my ophthalmologist's office to check out double vision that was plaguing me for 24 hours.



The ophthalmologist exchanged numbers with his assistant, scheduled a MRI two weeks hence, prescribed blood work then asked to see me in six weeks.  When I asked if he could send his review of our visit to my neurologist, his reply was "What are you seeing her for?"  I shared my TIA earlier which was in his records,   I am 71 years of age.  I would have valued if I were asked, "Did you drive here by yourself today?" "Is there someone you might like us to call?"  Especially when I was told to curtail my driving.


I cannot help but think of others who might not be as active as I am in a new sales position receiving alarming news.  Do they automatically accept their fate?  Do they have someone to share the news with who might accompany them for the MRI?  In a well-equipped office, and with HIPPA regulations, cannot one receive news other than in the hallway?  Everyone needs an advocate, even physicians.

Online Tools for Care Coordination

Keeping track of medical history, shopping for alternative living arrangments, and discussion of financial planning under one roof is efficient.  Too many surprises with end-of-life decisions could be avoided with these tracking tools.  For those tracking their own histories ensure that someone you trust has access to your records and will follow-through with those choices.  Why was my friend surprised that two sons rather the father less literate were named executors of their mother's estate?



The following is the mission statement of eCare Diary taken from its website that is recommended by professionals in the senior care industry:

"eCare Diary is a website created based on the founder’s, John Mills, experience as a caregiver for his father who suffered from Parkinson’s Disease. Having spent over 20 years working in the health care system, John found coordinating long term care to be difficult because of the lack of good information. eCare Diary provides comprehensive information, tools and resources to help those seeking and providing long term care. A unique feature is our Care Diary, a set of online tools designed to make coordination of care and sharing of information easy amongst family members and other caregivers. eCare Diary also has a comprehensive database of nursing home and home care services, guides on long term care financing and information on important health care documents everyone should have. The site will continue to grow and more information and tools will be added in the months ahead. We hope eCare Diary helps simplify your situation by providing you the tools and information you need."