Rightly Compassionate

 Though staying away from media is known to improve one's health, this example of compassion begs to be shared for those interested in the welface of all.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/G/GA_EVICTION_OF_103_YEAR_OLD_GAOL-?SITE=GAGAI&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Elders looking after elders, time again trying to do the next best thing, struggling with extended life, an economy gone beserk - or is it the lack of leadership from both sides of the aisle.   Shouting matches, rolled eyes prevent arms to reach out or ears to listen as they are meant to do.

 This photo reminds me of my father's pharmacy he purchased in 1939, the year of my birth.  How fortunate I was to be told all my life that  I was his good luck charm.  Three minute conversations between my dad and his customers when they came to pick up their prescriptions did more for each other's soul than any chemical concoction.  Dr. Swartz, they used to call him.   What would my dad have done, in his 60 years of serving the public if he learned of these women's plight, if they came into the store or shared their plight when he made a delivery?  What would you do?  What can we do at the grass roots level.

Yesterday I went for my dental hygiene appointment.   Near the end the hygenist remarked, "This isn't easy for you, is it?"   My response was, "Actually I was thinking of a pair of black tennis shoes."  She said, "You're kidding! Why?"  "To go with my black warm-up suit."  "Treat yourself.   I bought all my Christmas presents and told my husband to wrap them", she said with a laugh.   How insensitve that sounded to me who preferred to spend $400 on my grandchildren's presents instead of meeting obligations of tree removal.  Every life has a story.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v0RhvZ3lvY

What better gift than one of listening, holding a hand, asking "How can I help you.  Can I bring something from the store," or share a home-cooked meal from your heart.  Not only at Christmas, Chanukah, or Kawanza, but throughout the year.   Writing in gratitude, humbled, and seeking your perspective.



Why You Need Resources for Caregivers

When it comes to caring for your parents, there are a lot of different issues to deal with. By taking the time to find resources that are available, it will be much easier for you to get the outcome that you are searching for. Of course, the way that you go about caring for your parents says it all. In a recent blog I wrote about senior safety and health, I talked about the relationship between parents and children when the roles are reversed. Caring for your parents can be a very stressful situation and you really have to make sure that you are doing whatever it takes to make things right.

There are so many different resources out there that you can benefit from. You can find local groups in your neighborhood, support groups online, and plenty of informational resources like this blog right here to help you get the most from your situation. It doesn't matter if you are taking care of your parents full time or if you are just trying to keep an eye on whether they need your help or not, because education is always the most important tool in your success.

Before you get in over your head or create a stressful relationship between yourself and your
parent(s), you need to figure out where you are at and where things are going. You need to determine how much help they need, whether you can provide, and what the best solutions for everyone are. Communication is key because your parents do not want to be patronized and treated like children. Unless there is an actual physical or mental impairment that allows you to make decisions without their input, open communication is a must.

Take a few minutes today, for your parent(s), and check out the different resources and informational tools that you can find online. You will probably learn more than you expected and be able to give them the second stage of life that they truly deserve. Rather than jumping in with both feet and taking over, try talking to them about their health and utilize the information that you have found to take care of things together. With so many resources out there, it's not hard to find the ones that can help you.

Mary Albert is a health advocate for Lifestyle Health Guide, where she writes regularly on senior health and aging issues as well as medical alert systems.

Living Well

Girl trip anyone? My friends' trip was not born of grade school, high school, or university reunions.  These women, authors in common, a nurse practitioner, photographer, and retreat coordinator met in our mountain community about eight years ago.  Their husbands or partner fostered their interests at home while these adventure-seeking dames explored Peru.   





Harsh mountain winters motivated other friends to rent a condo in Naples from their friends who took advantage of the real estate bust and upgraded their home. Joining them for our regularly scheduled Friday lunch with ten others, one friend laughingly admitted, "We did not miss you at all.  We had the best time in Hawaii for my birthday - the children surprised us with birthday decorations for our cruise cabin.  We had the best winter.   Turkey, more travel to my aunt's 95th birthday, then Hawaii."    How fortunate for this couple (she traveled  to Turkey with her sisters).


"Live fully" is the signature with which a favorite relative closes her correspondence.   That can translate to knowing when it is time to sell the house and enjoy a retirement community.  With those with smaller pockets that might mean selling the one-bedroom condo on two floors and moving to a one-floor ranch within her price range and delight in a two-car garage to make winters more manageable.  Another with wanderlust and a fixed income lives with high cost of energy bills, caregiving, and maintaining a home that remains on the market in another state. An arm-chair traveler for now.  Romance was intimated by another answering a personal ad for a mountain gal.   Advice?  Don't sell the house.


What travel experience is on your bucket list, have you recently enjoyed, or remains in your memory?

Why I Love My Doctor- We're Not Dead Yet

When I retired, I moved back to the area where my children grew up so that I could be closer to my family. As such, I had to go through the motions of changing everything. I changed doctors, most notably. I spend about 3 to 5 hours a month at the doctor, which doesn't sound like a lot but it sure isn't a walk in the park. Since I'm there a lot for checkups and other tests, I need a doctor that I feel comfortable with and can trust. I made the mistake of hiring the first doctor that I found, and quickly realized that I needed a better solution. The mistake? Let me explain.


I had been spending the day with my daughter, who just insisted on riding along with me to my appointment. She likely wanted to see and hear for herself that I was (or was not, perhaps) healthy. So I conceded and she came along. Mind you, this was only the second time I had been to see this doctor. I could have been his mother, too. He was fresh out of medical school and you could tell. But that day, it was painfully obvious that he'd missed the course on bedside manner and patient communication.

He came into the room, talked to me, talked to my daughter, and went about his business. As the appointment went on, I began to notice that he spent far more time talking ABOUT me to my daughter, as if I wasn't even there. After about 20 minutes, I was exasperated. I looked him straight in the face, excused myself, and said

"I'm not dead yet, you know."

He got a startled look on his face, and chuckled, as if I was joking before walking out of the room. In the process of finding my current doctor, whom I love dearly, I went through about 5 or 6 who all did the same thing. I made it a pet project, of sorts, and took my daughter along just to prove a point: doctors tend to treat older people like children who can't understand them. We understand just fine. As a health advocate, I am advocating for better education on patient communication. We ARE the patients, after all.

Contributed by Mary Albert, a blogger for a senior lifestyle web site that provides advice for the 55+ age group as well as medical alert reviews