Postponing Retirement

Has your idea of retirement been sullied by the economy?  Did life circumstances deter you from saving as early as you could have? Did the last 20 years go by with the speed of lightening? 

This article provides examples and insights to shift thinking about job possibilities and reviewing financial resources when circumstances are beyond your control.

 http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/07/your-money/laid-off-with-retirement-almost-in-sight.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1 

When interviewing prospective residents and their families in senior living communities comments would arise, "Mom doesn't have anything (resources) even though she worked for 30 years."  Sometimes the children would preview the community and share this without the parent(s); sometimes, candidness just spewed forth.  That the dialogue had been had between/among family members, was a credit to all.

Family gatherings are often a time when concern for elders leads into effective conversations that had been camouflaged in short responses to perfunctory inquiries from time-deprived boomers, "I'm fine."  "How are the children?" - deflects further inquiry.  An elder may express conditions are good while he/she may be sitting without heat for several days concerned about spreading meager retirement funds, too proud for fuel assistance programs popular in rural regions.

This article about congregate living is a good one to ponder.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-poor-seniors-20120104,0,7744732.story?page=1

And we know that boomers concerned with their health, strapped funds, and trying to hang on to their homes may feel helpless when it comes to helping their aging parents.  Distance comes into play, blended families.  "She does not want to take care of me anymore", a daughter whose father, 77, with early dementia exclaimed.  Struggling through transition, the veil of helplessness blackens.


When did your dialogue with your parents begin?  Have your burdens become too great and you don't know where to turn or has pride kept you from assistance as close as a listening ear?  Your comments will help others through the maze.

Elder Law and 529 College Savings Plans. How does that affect me?

We plan and God laughs.  

Intentions are quickly dashed with diagnosis of Alzheimer's.
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11142/1148064-28-0.stm

This article makes a strong case to constantly review and work with professionals who understand elder law, financial products, and their consequences.

Please share your concerns, discussions with family members on this issue, and resolutions.  Thank you!

Fragile -

  From vantage points of rockers, chairs, and benches residents and guests in senior communities can breathe fresh air in South Florida or countless other alternate living accommodations across the country.   Onlookers become immune to emergency vehicles; when faced with emergency they are grateful to the medic team for transfer to the nearest medical center.

Emergencies know no boundaries.  Responses come at the most inopportune time - while caregivers are packing for a short or long-awaited trip, during traditional holiday dinners, dressing for graduation or one week after return from a parent who now exhibits different behavior.   

Last week's phone call to my mother's  line brought comfort with description of a grandson's visit, reminiscing through family albums.  This week, with stattaco emails sharing my mother's emergency hospital stay, dismantling of her apartment, and decision making for another stop on her journey, I know not to call.  I can only hope that someone will read the Mother's Day message I posted a few days ago as the card shop lacked the words to express the gratitutde for every opportunity I had been given.

Distance, early retirement, and maintenance of my home that has been on and off the market for four years have fostered challenges in long-distance caregiving.   I am grateful for my siblings' devotion the past 18 years and do what I can in communicating through reminiscing with my mother.  Everyone has a talent in the caregiving pyramid.  Please take a minute to comment and share your long distance or dominant caregiving experience.

Living Well

Girl trip anyone? My friends' trip was not born of grade school, high school, or university reunions.  These women, authors in common, a nurse practitioner, photographer, and retreat coordinator met in our mountain community about eight years ago.  Their husbands or partner fostered their interests at home while these adventure-seeking dames explored Peru.   





Harsh mountain winters motivated other friends to rent a condo in Naples from their friends who took advantage of the real estate bust and upgraded their home. Joining them for our regularly scheduled Friday lunch with ten others, one friend laughingly admitted, "We did not miss you at all.  We had the best time in Hawaii for my birthday - the children surprised us with birthday decorations for our cruise cabin.  We had the best winter.   Turkey, more travel to my aunt's 95th birthday, then Hawaii."    How fortunate for this couple (she traveled  to Turkey with her sisters).


"Live fully" is the signature with which a favorite relative closes her correspondence.   That can translate to knowing when it is time to sell the house and enjoy a retirement community.  With those with smaller pockets that might mean selling the one-bedroom condo on two floors and moving to a one-floor ranch within her price range and delight in a two-car garage to make winters more manageable.  Another with wanderlust and a fixed income lives with high cost of energy bills, caregiving, and maintaining a home that remains on the market in another state. An arm-chair traveler for now.  Romance was intimated by another answering a personal ad for a mountain gal.   Advice?  Don't sell the house.


What travel experience is on your bucket list, have you recently enjoyed, or remains in your memory?

Ethical issues

  At the personal invitation of my geronology professor Dr. Rita Gugel, the founder of National Association of Professional Care Managers (NAPGCM) visited our class at Lynn University in the early 90s.  Within the next few years I enlisted the help of a professional geriatric care manager to address a caregiving situation that ultimately provided opportunity for my second husband's distant four children to care for their father, albeit long distance.  "I won't come until my father is situated", are the dispassionate words heard from one son.  

Wanting to do the right thing, I found a level of care that mirrored Mr.S.'s lifestyle, ensured he was settled and visited from time to time in the assisted living community and hospital to ensure staff knew there was someone local who observed his care. 

The one-hour assessment by the professional care manager was the best $200 I ever spent.  My children deserved me to present in their lives and share their joy.

And now it is time again to call on professional care management, to call on professionals who are familiar with levels of care for dementia and ensure transition sans physical and emotional challenges of family, near and distant.  Far too personal when it comes to a parent.   "I just cannot do it anymore" echoes from various challenges within a family including finances, introduction of extended family with different history.  


The terse words of management eager to make way for "healthier" residents are 360 degrees of the welcome less than two years ago.   Ethical issues in discharge, a webinar offered by SeniorBridge this month, is one that professionals in aging need to hear. Consider discharges from hospitals, rehab centers, and communities.  What is the appropriate setting, timing?   What has been your experience in handling transitions of family members or close friends.  Did you handle the move(s) yourself ? Did you call on a professional care manager?   If so, what is a positive experience or one that could have been improved?  Share with us so others can benefit.