The therapist is still working at 102

Thank you Steve Lopez for this dynamic portrait. 
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-1002-lopez-bolgar-20111002,0,5869414.column

Though I stay away from violent and non-sensical headlines, I seek columnists who illuminate people otherwise unbeknowngst to me.   When I took a death and dying class mid-life, or what I thought was mid-life, I had to write my own obituary.  What fun!  I placed myself at the top of a mountain in Colorado; today I live at 3500 ft in Boone NC.  My brother lives in Denver - perhaps begging a visit.  I saw myself as a writer and think the same today as I whittle words on forthcoming book entitled "A Tapestry of Global Friendships."

What are your ambitions?   At 71, I had my licensed renewed for five years today.  Gratefully I was prompted for four signs that had no design on them.  I thought the sun was yellow and round - yet it signified a railroad sign.

Keep a joyful heart. 

Living Memories

 This month when I visit my mother, 98, who has been in hospice for five months is emotionally draining.  Yesterday when I shared this with two women in private conversation after a literacy meeting, they shared their perspectives.  "My mother has been gone four years.  Each time I visited my mother during end-of-life stages, I felt I would soon be orphaned", one remarked. Another shared, "My mother has had Alzheimer's for the past 15 years.  I do not feel like I have a mother anymore", another lamented. 

And just the day before a friend reflected, "I am so glad you have your mother one more day."  This exquisite woman maintains a home in CO while caregiving for her mother in GA where she continues her professional life as an academician.  God bless my friends who continue to travel or follow a passion with art lessons and chorus while caregiving for their husbands with Alzheimer's going on four years.

But I digress from my feelings.  At 71, I am fortunate to be active in the academic and business environments - albeit part time, though I cannot do anything part time.  With the housing bust my home fortunately is rented at present though it sat empty and then devasted by tenants the remaining years.   Spiritual armor has protected me as I concentrate on fulfilling my life and being there for my family, friends, and reading mentees.


Hopefully, that spiritual armor will protect me through the next phase of life with expected loss though I love my friend's saying, "98 going on 120" in referencing my mother.  I want to enjoy each day, tucking treasures in my suitcase like a book a grade school friend wrote that I can share with my mother.  I will also bring her a Jewish calendar remiscent of the ones she hung on a kitchen cabinet in my parents' condo in S FL.  Birthdays, anniversaries - recorded year after year, remembered with just the perfect card, her thoughts underscored at time as I find myself doing for emphasis.

Sharing with you has already lightened what was a burden ten minutes ago.  In less than two weeks my friend will drive me two hours from the mountains of NC to Charlotte to board my flight.  One of devoted brothers and/or my sister-in-law will pick me up at the airport where construction is anything but straight driving.   We will visit alone and together, laugh as our family always has done, not ridiculing but sharing slices of life.   I will be able to praise staff personally - this woman from a distance - does she really care?   Yes, she cares hourly, prays daily, and includes you in her prayers.


It's Sunday when I usually phoned my mother in addtion to mid-week calls since my father's passing fifteen years ago.  Today, we cannot hold a conversation long distance, not even the 3-minute conversations to save money, a carryover from the Depression.  She cannot read even large-print books but hopefully will be able to recognize me.   I see a "grabber" in a TV ad and feel a tinge of sorrow that I never purchased one for my mother.   I choose to remember how she drove up from Ft. Lauderdale to Boca by herself to be with my brother and me.  My brother was right to encourage her to stretch herself as my daughter did me after a sudden loss.

Please feel free to share your comments anonymously, if you wish, or write to me at evelynasher@charter.net.  Together, our journeys will be sweeter.

Meeting Room vs. Waiting Room

In 2002 I advocated for geriatric care consulting in physician practice waiting rooms. Though there was interest from one practice in Gainesville GA, physician staffing berthed the concept to the back burner. Before the plethora of cell phones we have today I envisioned patients and caregivers having access to phones where they could resolve issues during their long wait.   Having a geriatric care consultant or social worker in the waiting room could relieve anxieties as people shared their social concerns.  

http://www.fastcodesign.com/1664797/six-ways-to-improve-doctors-waiting-rooms

What if a caregiver could discuss a transportation issue or be able to inquire about a resource to lessen his/her burden(s)?   What if elders looking after each other could have a smile or be directed for funding to remodel their home so they could age in place?   What if the environment in a physician's practice was friendlier and encouraged storytelling in a corner?  Yes, away with those wide screens and listen.   Patients have so much to share, wisdom, character, and strength.   Many with family scattered around the country or globe would benefit from socialization, lessen health concerns, thwart disease.

The People's Pharmacy recently conducted research on drugs with more side effects than benefits.  Conversation and listening are more beneficial to one's health than prescription drugs.   What is your best waiting room experience? What if, in an hour or two wait, a trained professional could help you write or edit an oral or written legacy to your children?

Skipping the Salt Could Save Your Heart

New studies have just been released proving that a diet high in salt and low in potassium can significantly increase your risk for cardiovascular disease.

Doctors have long warned their patients against consuming high levels of sodium because of the harmful effects it can have on your body, including high blood pressure. Fortunately, it now appears that people who balance a moderate sodium intake with above average potassium levels can prevent some of the damages of too much salt.

For people over age 50 or those with high blood pressure, diabetes or kidney disease, it is recommended not to consume more than 1,500 milligrams of sodium per day. While it may sound like a lot, this amount is equal to only a half teaspoon of table salt each day.

Keep the following guidelines in mind to ensure a healthy heart for years to come:

1.      Skip the junk food. Most pre-packaged foods found in your grocer’s snack aisle or freezer case are loaded with extra sodium. Meals coming from fast food restaurants are also notorious for containing extra salt: one Big Mac alone has 1,040 mg of salt! Make sure fast food and pre-packaged items are occasional indulgences and not part of your regular routine.

2.      Hide the salt shaker. If you have already added salt to a dish as an ingredient while you are cooking, take the salt shaker off of your dinner table so you are not tempted to add more salt before eating.

3.      Offset salt with potassium. While bananas are most commonly known for being high in potassium, there are many other natural sources of this substance. Apricots, milk, chocolate, almonds, potatoes, avocados and soybeans are all packed with potassium, as well as other fruits and vegetables. Focus on including more of these items into your diet to offset some of salt’s harmful effects.

This guest post was written by Jessica from Long Island Heart Associates. http://www.liheart.org
For questions about heart health and aging, contact a local cardiologist today.

Memorial Day Salute

 God bless those who gave their lives, veterans, returning troops, those serving, and their families.  When I read these treasured stories it remains me when my uncle's brother, Saul Goldman, joined our family gatherings in uniform in the 50s.  Treasured also were reunions of New Jersey buddies you served in separate divisions during WWII who were reunited in South Florida 50 years later. Though they lost track of each other, their reminscence included concise reference to their arenas; one could see other memories of incredible loss to their charges appear in intense exchanges of their eyes, words not to be spoken.

A special salute to Herman Rubin who forever postponed being a professional baseball player to serve his country.  To my uncle Leonard Sherman who took ill shortly after he was on base but came home to make significant differences in his scientific discoveries that, by my father's recall, others took credit for.  Bless extended family who share their presence minus their day as he is with the National Guard two weeks each summer. "Better than 18 months (in Iraq)", his 12-year-old son uttered in a quiet voice.

Silent heroes.  Thank you for going to schools and sharing your experiences through StoryCorp or family interviews as I encourage my interpersonal communication students to record.   Please share a short story about your favorite veteran or local National Guard today.

Evelyn Asher is hopeful that contined multicultural exchanges will lead to a more peaceful existence globally.

Sodium Reductions Might Not Affect Heart Health

According to an article written in Time magazine, they've been doing research in Europe that proves that lower sodium intake might not actually help heart health in the long run. Studies have shown that people who have high blood pressure or heart disease would benefit from lowering salt intake. However, in a study of more than 3,500 people who didn't have heart problems, the ones who had the highest salt intake were the lowest risk for heart disease-related death. The study was done for more than eight years and those with the highest sodium levels only had a 0.8% death rate. Those with low sodium had a 4% death rate.

All the unique things that the health science world is doing today never cease to amaze me. It's like the blog that I wrote awhile back on senior safety and wellness, which talked about how education is so very important to your health. COPD symptoms can be reduced with exercise, Alzheimer's can be staved off with walking, and now apparently sodium isn't going to be terribly bad for your heart. But why is this?

According to researchers, while salt intake does affect blood pressure, it doesn't increase the risk of hypertension or a death related to heart disease. It apparently doesn't have as much of an effect as they thought, and is much less of an issue. The American Heart Association is still hard at work trying to convince people to lower their sodium intake just for the sake of their health, but there's apparently less of a connection to heart health than was previously thought.

The study does have its flaws, of course. The volunteers were all younger, so the follow-up might not have been effective enough due to the age at which these heart issues usually occur. Either way, it is a complicated issue that people have to face and learn about for themselves. Nothing is more important than being educated and you really need to read up. Medical science never ceases to impress me with its findings, but this just goes to show that you have to get the details before you tip the salt shaker.

Mary Albert is a health advocate at Lifestyle Health Guide, where she contributes regularly on health issues and medical alert systems.

Local Community Centers Can Help You Stay Fit

I write a lot of blogs about health and wellness, as well as elderly safety. As a health advocate, it's what I know best.

So many people come to me and question where they can find exercise programs and fitness classes that suit their age and abilities. Most gyms and fitness centers don't have a lot for the 55+ crowd, but there is another place to look. In any community with a significant population of people over the age of 55, community centers and senior centers are going to be a great resource. Most towns have groups and classes that are designed specifically for older people and their unique abilities.

Let's face it. You're not 25 anymore and you probably have limited abilities, or at least a limited desire, when it comes to fitness and exercise. It's not about busting your butt in that 2 hour spinning class. It's about finding healthy, easy ways to stay active and enjoy yourself. By all means, if you want to get into extreme fitness programs, go ahead if you are capable. However, most people are just looking for a way to stay active without working too hard.

Check out your local community resources. Call around, ask about classes or programs specifically for the 55+ crowd. If you aren't sure, ask friends and acquaintances if they can recommend anything. Most athletic clubs and community centers have programs for seniors that include things like aerobics, yoga, water activities, and even jogging or walking clubs. If your local facilities don't have any of these, consider starting your own group. You'd be surprised at how many people are interested. Everyone wants to stay fit and healthy because they know that it's the key to a longer, happier life.

If you decide to start a group, you'll be able to find plenty of people to include. You will get the exercise that you want, plus you will probably make  new friends. Take time to explore your local community and find the resources that you need. If you can't find them, create them. I wrote an article awhile back, in case you need some motivation, about healthy aging and how we aren't incapable just because of our age. You can check it out at the senior safety blog I write for occasionally. Start talking to your local community resources today and find the ones that give you what you need.

Mary Albert is a health advocate and blogger at Lifestyle Health Guide. She frequently writes on topics like elderly safety, healthy aging, and medical alert systems.

Fragile -

  From vantage points of rockers, chairs, and benches residents and guests in senior communities can breathe fresh air in South Florida or countless other alternate living accommodations across the country.   Onlookers become immune to emergency vehicles; when faced with emergency they are grateful to the medic team for transfer to the nearest medical center.

Emergencies know no boundaries.  Responses come at the most inopportune time - while caregivers are packing for a short or long-awaited trip, during traditional holiday dinners, dressing for graduation or one week after return from a parent who now exhibits different behavior.   

Last week's phone call to my mother's  line brought comfort with description of a grandson's visit, reminiscing through family albums.  This week, with stattaco emails sharing my mother's emergency hospital stay, dismantling of her apartment, and decision making for another stop on her journey, I know not to call.  I can only hope that someone will read the Mother's Day message I posted a few days ago as the card shop lacked the words to express the gratitutde for every opportunity I had been given.

Distance, early retirement, and maintenance of my home that has been on and off the market for four years have fostered challenges in long-distance caregiving.   I am grateful for my siblings' devotion the past 18 years and do what I can in communicating through reminiscing with my mother.  Everyone has a talent in the caregiving pyramid.  Please take a minute to comment and share your long distance or dominant caregiving experience.

Living Well

Girl trip anyone? My friends' trip was not born of grade school, high school, or university reunions.  These women, authors in common, a nurse practitioner, photographer, and retreat coordinator met in our mountain community about eight years ago.  Their husbands or partner fostered their interests at home while these adventure-seeking dames explored Peru.   





Harsh mountain winters motivated other friends to rent a condo in Naples from their friends who took advantage of the real estate bust and upgraded their home. Joining them for our regularly scheduled Friday lunch with ten others, one friend laughingly admitted, "We did not miss you at all.  We had the best time in Hawaii for my birthday - the children surprised us with birthday decorations for our cruise cabin.  We had the best winter.   Turkey, more travel to my aunt's 95th birthday, then Hawaii."    How fortunate for this couple (she traveled  to Turkey with her sisters).


"Live fully" is the signature with which a favorite relative closes her correspondence.   That can translate to knowing when it is time to sell the house and enjoy a retirement community.  With those with smaller pockets that might mean selling the one-bedroom condo on two floors and moving to a one-floor ranch within her price range and delight in a two-car garage to make winters more manageable.  Another with wanderlust and a fixed income lives with high cost of energy bills, caregiving, and maintaining a home that remains on the market in another state. An arm-chair traveler for now.  Romance was intimated by another answering a personal ad for a mountain gal.   Advice?  Don't sell the house.


What travel experience is on your bucket list, have you recently enjoyed, or remains in your memory?