Fragile -

  From vantage points of rockers, chairs, and benches residents and guests in senior communities can breathe fresh air in South Florida or countless other alternate living accommodations across the country.   Onlookers become immune to emergency vehicles; when faced with emergency they are grateful to the medic team for transfer to the nearest medical center.

Emergencies know no boundaries.  Responses come at the most inopportune time - while caregivers are packing for a short or long-awaited trip, during traditional holiday dinners, dressing for graduation or one week after return from a parent who now exhibits different behavior.   

Last week's phone call to my mother's  line brought comfort with description of a grandson's visit, reminiscing through family albums.  This week, with stattaco emails sharing my mother's emergency hospital stay, dismantling of her apartment, and decision making for another stop on her journey, I know not to call.  I can only hope that someone will read the Mother's Day message I posted a few days ago as the card shop lacked the words to express the gratitutde for every opportunity I had been given.

Distance, early retirement, and maintenance of my home that has been on and off the market for four years have fostered challenges in long-distance caregiving.   I am grateful for my siblings' devotion the past 18 years and do what I can in communicating through reminiscing with my mother.  Everyone has a talent in the caregiving pyramid.  Please take a minute to comment and share your long distance or dominant caregiving experience.

Why I Love My Doctor- We're Not Dead Yet

When I retired, I moved back to the area where my children grew up so that I could be closer to my family. As such, I had to go through the motions of changing everything. I changed doctors, most notably. I spend about 3 to 5 hours a month at the doctor, which doesn't sound like a lot but it sure isn't a walk in the park. Since I'm there a lot for checkups and other tests, I need a doctor that I feel comfortable with and can trust. I made the mistake of hiring the first doctor that I found, and quickly realized that I needed a better solution. The mistake? Let me explain.


I had been spending the day with my daughter, who just insisted on riding along with me to my appointment. She likely wanted to see and hear for herself that I was (or was not, perhaps) healthy. So I conceded and she came along. Mind you, this was only the second time I had been to see this doctor. I could have been his mother, too. He was fresh out of medical school and you could tell. But that day, it was painfully obvious that he'd missed the course on bedside manner and patient communication.

He came into the room, talked to me, talked to my daughter, and went about his business. As the appointment went on, I began to notice that he spent far more time talking ABOUT me to my daughter, as if I wasn't even there. After about 20 minutes, I was exasperated. I looked him straight in the face, excused myself, and said

"I'm not dead yet, you know."

He got a startled look on his face, and chuckled, as if I was joking before walking out of the room. In the process of finding my current doctor, whom I love dearly, I went through about 5 or 6 who all did the same thing. I made it a pet project, of sorts, and took my daughter along just to prove a point: doctors tend to treat older people like children who can't understand them. We understand just fine. As a health advocate, I am advocating for better education on patient communication. We ARE the patients, after all.

Contributed by Mary Albert, a blogger for a senior lifestyle web site that provides advice for the 55+ age group as well as medical alert reviews